Authored by Vince Russell on 14 April 2007 at 07:14PM
Current rating:
Filed under: Vince Goes Ape

Vince Kong at the football

It's been a fair while since Nottingham Forest were the toast of Europe, nowadays we're desperately trying to get out of the third tier of English football. So I thought I'd introduce Vince Kong to the beautiful game, sadly beautiful it was not!

Millwall are a South East London side better know for their fighting skills off the pitch rather than the football on it, so I did feel a little nervous turning up in my gorilla suit, and I could sense Lucy wasn't too happy about it either.

I left with the words "don't get beaten up" ringing in my ears and caught a train to Waterloo. The journey was quite fun, a bunch of ten year olds on the train were amused by my costume so I asked them to take my picture, they seemed to go into a huddle and I heard "he wants us to take his photo!" from within, then one of them was thrust forward and took my photo (thank you!).

It got a bit boring after that, so I decided to walk through the train, that was also a bit dull, so I went a sat in first class and scared the crap out of some chap having a little sleep, not on purpose of course! He found it funny though and tried to get me to scare his mate who was still asleep, I couldn't do it.

From Waterloo I took a couple more trains before arriving at my destination. I asked a young chav to take my photo but he refused (he was clearly Millwall fan), so I just carried on walking to the stadium.

Getting through the turnstiles was very amusing, the lady taking my ticket let out a little scream before rolling about laughing, then she dashed out of her booth clutching her mobile phone and desperate to take a picture. This little pantomime went on for about five minutes before see finally took my ticket and let me in. Next up was a good frisking by a guard, well, more like a cursory pat down (it was pretty hot and I reckon he could smell me before I stepped up).

From there, it was nothing but disaster! I was approached by a steward who asked me to remove my head (I resisted cracking a few jokes). He told me in no uncertain terms that if I put my gorilla head back on, I would be ejected from the ground. I then took my seat and watched what can only be described by a "pile of old crap", and we lost one nil.

Rather than heading back to Twickenham after the game, I was due to visit the in-laws in Biggleswade, which is about fifty miles away. So after a few more trains, I arrived at Kings Cross. Again, I was told to remove my head, "for security purposes" apparently! I did take it off, but put it back on when I got round the corner and caught my train to Biggleswade.

And so, after over six hours and seven trains as Vince Kong, I arrived at a small village in Bedfordshire, I don't think I need to tell you how badly I smelt, I was dripping with sweat and desperate for a beer. I should look on the bright side of the day though, if Forest had won, superstition would have dictated that I wear the suit for the rest of the season. Actually, that might have been fun!

Photo's from the Vince Kong at the football

Authored by Vince Russell on 14 April 2007 at 07:14PM
Current rating:
Filed under: Vince Goes Ape