Authored by Vince Russell on 25 April 2007 at 11:39PM
Current rating: 3 out of 5 stars!
Filed under: Vince Goes Ape

Elvis Kong on a pub crawl

Elvis Kong, ready for action!

For a long time now, I've been planning on becoming Elvis Kong and visiting the great Lou Jordan, Elvis-impersonator to the stars!! Sadly, I turned up but Elvis hadn't just left the building, the sod hadn't even turned up!.

I was a little nervous, I'd built this up in my head and had it down that this was going to be my best Vince Kong outing ever, so to try and settle my nerves, I grabbed a Carlsberg and turned on the Spurs v Sevilla game. About twenty minutes and three lagers later, I started to worry that drinking is only going to make me want to go to the toilet, and going to the toilet in a gorilla suit and an Elvis costume, in a busy pub, is going to be quite a challenge. I mulled this over with the fourth beer and decided that this one would be my last, thankfully it really was my last, I'd only bought four.

Elvis Kong, beer in hand

The pub where Elvis was playing was probably about a kilometre away and I'd decided to walk the whole way. Leaving the flat was brilliant and seconds later I was posing with the bouncer of the local spit-and-sawdust pub, I thought what a good start and looked forward to many other similar shenanigans on the way. However no-one seems to have told me that the whole of Twickenham had decided to be somewhere else at that precise time because I think I only saw about four other people the whole journey and reached the pub setting a new Vince Kong land speed record.

As I started to get closer to the entrance, I had another pang of nerves, but swallowed them down, got my head up and walked right in and up to the bar. I asked the barman if Lou was playing that night, I couldn't believe it when he said Lou had cancelled! It reminded me of the time we were kids and I went to a fancy dress party dressed as the incredible hulk. I was covered head-to-toe in green paint, it had taken us hours to prepare, when we arrived we were told we were a week early. Gutted!

I left the pub and was starting to walk home when I thought, I've made all this effort, it'd be a shame to waste it, so I decide to pub-crawl my way back. The journey takes in about four pubs so that'll be perfect!

Elvis Kong handles a bouncer

The most notable encounter was with the bouncer's of Filthy McNasty's (I kid you not, we have a pub called that!). I tried to get in but they blocked my way and asked me to remove my head, I obliged and they said I could go in (I think I may have cracked a joke, something like "you've seen my real face and you're still letting me in?!" - probably not my finest moment). I put my head back on and went to go in again, but for the second time, they blocked my way, "can we check your bag?" was the excuse this time. So I handed it over and watched as the bouncer struggled to open my bag, Velcro + Bouncer = Entertained for hours, but I finally got in and watched a fairly average band play some very ordinary songs, I had a really mild time!

The Three Kings was pretty funny but only because they gave me my beer with a straw that's over a foot long! I've still got it, I hope to incorporate it into the suit. The Grand Union still insisted on giving me my change on a silver plate when it's plain to see that I can hardly pick up my beer with my big gorilla paws.

After the final pub, there was only one place to go and that was to see my friends at the Golden Grill, who I first met after the pub quiz. They pointed out my picture which hangs proudly behind the counter, and after a quick photo, I went home a very happy Vince Elvis Kong.

Photo's from Elvis Kong on a pub crawl

Outside The Geroge, Twickenham

Elvis Kong and the first pub

Elvis Kong and a stormtrooper

Outside Filthy McNasty's, Twickenham

Inside Filthy McNasty's

Elvis Kong and the Three Kings, Twickenham

Elvis Kong and the Grand Union, Twickenham

The marvellous golden grill

Authored by Vince Russell on 25 April 2007 at 11:39PM
Current rating: 3 out of 5 stars!
Filed under: Vince Goes Ape

Comments about "Elvis Kong on a pub crawl"

mrgrooism said

You're just a hunka-hunka burning Kong! Hey, Kong is The King!!!

26 April 2007 at 04:29AM

Dan said

You really are a total mad man. But very funny mate. Good work.

26 April 2007 at 09:10AM

Lou Jordan said

Hey Vince
Sorry I missed you had to fly back to Gracelands!

26 April 2007 at 10:30AM

Vince's mum said

I remember the incredible hulk incident - he didn't tell you about the 3 mile walk to get there!

26 April 2007 at 01:07PM

Elvis Kong said

No worries Lou...I mean The King of Rock and Roll! Elvis Kong will appear again! I'll keep an eye on your schedule!

26 April 2007 at 01:30PM

annon said

Not as good as the getting on the tube pics...but still managed to put a smile on my face this morning..thanks Vince!

26 April 2007 at 03:05PM

Ant said

Are you still with Mrs Kong and if so, are there any plans for little Kongs. Never the less, I'm sure the neighbours are nervous.

26 April 2007 at 08:24PM

The Wife said

Awesome - lovin' the fact the chaps at The Golden Grill still have your picture on the wall.

27 April 2007 at 09:00AM

big g and little c said

a-mazing...even though we're so far from king street...it's like we were walking along with you, gorilla at our side!
I just love the way the bloke from the golden grill looks so utterly relaxed this time...he's seen and done it all before, beautiful work Vincent!

28 April 2007 at 03:51AM

Youngest sister-in-law said

He went back to Graceland, quality, Mary Poppins ha ha ha

06 August 2007 at 01:46PM


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